Hello Internet, and welcome to the backdoor pilot for “Borg Are Fortnite”, a Star Trek podcast hosted by Captain Gun Nerd Jon and Wizened Sage Ian. (And you thought we were going to talk about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Crossroads of Time for the SNES). Okay, we do talk about the cinematic platformer a little bit, but we mainly talk about Deep Space Nine and Star Trek in general. As if that’s not enough, we also open a package from Mastermold Mike, read a postcard from Matt, and take a quiz from Ross Rachel Green.
Are you like a lot of 90s kids and love the side scrolling beat ’em up genre? Are you one step beyond that and you’re a beat ’em up hipster and you’re all about a more obscure title from 1994 called The Peace Keepers? WELL GOOD FOR YOU SINCE WE SORT OF TALK ABOUT IT! But first we have updates on our children and our wives and we talk about hospitals and then eventually pirates and cars. But trust us, we spend a good chunk talking about this odd little gem. So please enjoy!
The Randomizer plunged deep into its most chaotic of black holes to bring us Gemfire by Koei, a 1992 turnbased tactics game. The Randomizer knew it would be Tyler’s birthday when this was recorded so it was the sweetest gift it could possibly give. We do talk about Gemfire but not without fulfilling Tyler’s birthday wish of commenting on AskReddit questions and exchanging tangential stories first. We talk about cars, cartoon cars, dry penises, another Dave, some retro gaming accessories and plenty of other stuff not Gemfire. Then some Gemfire.
Lord Dennis joins us this week to talk about NFL Quarterback Club and NFL Quarterback Club ’96 for the SNES. What would it be like to live with sixteen year-old versions of ourselves. Piss Liars! There is a quiz that we totally nail without any help from Dennis because we are super footballists.
Master Cycle Baron Link (back from the Temple of Time) joins us this week to talk about Desert Strike: Return to the Gulf, the 1992 helicopter shoot ’em up by Electronic Arts (specifically the SNES version). We have The Randomizer to thank for this one (all hail The Randomizer). There is a deep dive into the state of Tyler’s balls and a good update on Link’s balls. Did you miss TADPOG Theatre? No? Well, sorry. We present to you the short and sweet saga of podcast promoter Chris.Jarico.9.
The Randomizer is back, baby! (And it brought veteran guest host Miller with him #MoreMiller). What SNES game did The Randomizer bestow upon us today, you ask? Why, none other than Super Strike Eagle, the 1993 combat flight simulator for the SNES. If discussion about lackluster video game visuals and kludgy controls aren’t enough: we also talk about Tyler’s recent vasectomy! <insert reggaeton horn sfx>. And Miller tells us how to wreck a vintage golf cart. This episode brought to you by Norco.
Choctopus joins us as we turn our backs on The Randomizer (all hail The Randomizer!) for one week in order to talk about Goof Troop for the SNES. We talk about this 1993 Capcom action-adventure game (and anthropomorphic dog pirates), but in regular TADPOG fashion we meander down many paths of off-topic conversation. Yes, we swap chonky cat stories. We try to figure out who Mr. X is in the Resident Evil series. Do we spend time talking about Disney Afternoon cartoons and Nicktoons? Hyuck yes.
Sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins joins our adventuring party and lends us his extraordinary personality to talk about Might and Magic III: The Isles of Terra for the SNES. We have felt the magic and we are accepting the challenge to talk about this 1995 port of the classic DOS role-playing game. There’s a lot of game talk in this one, but there’s also bonus Audio Memes(TM).