Hello Internet, and welcome to the backdoor pilot for “Borg Are Fortnite”, a Star Trek podcast hosted by Captain Gun Nerd Jon and Wizened Sage Ian. (And you thought we were going to talk about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Crossroads of Time for the SNES). Okay, we do talk about the cinematic platformer a little bit, but we mainly talk about Deep Space Nine and Star Trek in general. As if that’s not enough, we also open a package from Mastermold Mike, read a postcard from Matt, and take a quiz from Ross Rachel Green.
Let’s get this out of the way first. We do the Adventures of Yogi Bear, courtesy of the Randomizer, and i’ts about what you would expect. So, in order to enjoy our time with it – we truly get Baja Blasted and really go off the rails. We open a package from Bunny and Kira, and we do a deep dive into Hanna Barbera. Impressions are heavy, and spiked watermelon smoothies flow like the spice on Arrakis. Personally, we think this hits that “TADPOG Classic” tier. So please, enjoy and understand we know that Albert Fish was a terrible monster.
Captain Gun Nerd Jon and Wizened Sage Ian join us this week to talk about Road Riot 4WD for the SNES. This game is short and terrible…so there’s not an overwhelming amount of game talk. (If we’re being honest here, we probably discuss Gran Turismo 3 more than Road Riot 4WD). But! We’ve got another episode of SODA JERKS (the only podcast within a podcast) on this episode! We also eat some sour candy that was sent in by Mastermold Mike. We take a quiz courtesy of Ross Rachel Green, and there’s plenty of Marvel and Doctor Who talk.
Has it been a long and difficult week for you? Do you need some podcast TLC? Don’t you worry, baby, we got you covered. We invite the Top Fan and Sandwich Pope of the TADPOG Nation, Phil Hawkins, on to discuss the Randomizer chosen Wizardry V. Don’t worry, Phil can’t keep us track all the time so we delve into more Soda Jerks, Circumcision Trinkets, Dungeons and Dragons, and we take a sweet little magic quiz from our very own Ross-Rachel Green. You’ve got 2 hours of love headed your way, we hope you enjoy!
So I think you faithful listeners are sorta into video games like our podcast is sorta a video game podcast – so we change it up and bring you and entirely new podcast called SODA JERKS! where we review different totally common everyday sodas that you can get anywhere! Well, we do that for the first 30 minutes then we bow to whims of our Chaotic Neutral god and talk about Firestriker for the SNES. So between Jack updates, soda talk, Firestriker discussion and a special Billy related stinger- we think you’ll enjoy this one.
Are you like a lot of 90s kids and love the side scrolling beat ’em up genre? Are you one step beyond that and you’re a beat ’em up hipster and you’re all about a more obscure title from 1994 called The Peace Keepers? WELL GOOD FOR YOU SINCE WE SORT OF TALK ABOUT IT! But first we have updates on our children and our wives and we talk about hospitals and then eventually pirates and cars. But trust us, we spend a good chunk talking about this odd little gem. So please enjoy!
I know, I know. You’ve spent years pining after Dave’s brilliance on the Mario Paint episode. “GUYS, PLEASE DRAW MORE CARTOONS FOR PERVERTS!”, you’ve all been saying. Well, ALL HAIL THE RANDOMIZER and its gift of ACME Animation Factory. Dave made a truly beautiful twerking Sonic the Hedgehog. But we do talk about a very fun trip to Thorton’s Gas Station. We have both a Jack and a Nikki update. A very solid cartoon quiz. And, of course, all the kissing.
The Randomizer plunged deep into its most chaotic of black holes to bring us Gemfire by Koei, a 1992 turnbased tactics game. The Randomizer knew it would be Tyler’s birthday when this was recorded so it was the sweetest gift it could possibly give. We do talk about Gemfire but not without fulfilling Tyler’s birthday wish of commenting on AskReddit questions and exchanging tangential stories first. We talk about cars, cartoon cars, dry penises, another Dave, some retro gaming accessories and plenty of other stuff not Gemfire. Then some Gemfire.